He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
