is your mom at the bar?
Whod you bang
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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