If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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