feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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