Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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