sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
