I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
