take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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