Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My liver just broke up with me...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
