I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
