Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
