waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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