Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
