Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
