just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
