a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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