TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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