The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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