she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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