I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
