My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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