well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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