Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
