Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
