Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
