Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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