I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I deserve this hangover.
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