so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
