She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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