I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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