Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
