he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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