ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
