Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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