with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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