i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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