i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
