How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
