imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
whose parrot is this?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
