brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
