so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sponge bath it is.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
