planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
