and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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