fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
