As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
