HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
