I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize