I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
