Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
