Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i came on her dog
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
