please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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