I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
