I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
