...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
