yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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