Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
not ubering you a puppy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Congratulations! We have a period
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