So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
