You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
